Saturday, February 13, 2016

Fuck Motivation


I'm in this thing for the long haul. I gotta keep my head wrapped around that and just what it means. The long term. Not this week, not next year, but years and years. Sometimes the best way to deal with that long view is simply one day at a time. I keep that long view for perspective but I concentrate on what I'm doing now, today, or this week towards that far distant time where today's work will pay dividends.

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
~Jack London

More than just a few times people have told me they wished they could get motivated, to train as much as I do, or that they are going to do this or that or committing to some plan or another...tomorrow...or maybe after the new year.. or after they lose some weight...or once their work schedule calms down some.

Well. Fuck motivation. Part of understanding that this is a long path for me is accepting there will be ups and down. There will be times I'm all fired up to do work, as well as times I'm just not feeling it. I will have success and loss and experience over time all the random stuff life throws at us all. If I require motivation, if I have to want it all the time, then I'm just not likely to be consistent.

I woke up this morning aching. Like most days. My joints hurt, my muscles sore, and there is a spot behind my shoulder blade that feels like someone stapled the muscles together. I took my vitamins, downed a cup of coffee and went to work. Its sub zero out, the air is dry, I've been up coughing all night. I don't feel like training, I don't want to get crushed today. But I go after work, get in early and get some drilling in. I'm tired, I could sit out open mat until I teach later. I don't. I get my rounds in. I feel weak today. I lose position, get smashed, cant pull off the moves I'm working on, it sucks. After class I could go, I've done some work, I've done more than I wanted, I'm ready to go. I toss on some little gloves instead and get some rounds in.

Why? Did I watch a motivational video? Did my song come on? Was I pumped up and ready to throw down? Hell no! I was ready for a nap! I wanted cake! But if I only trained on the days where I felt like it Id be nowhere near where I am now.

I do this because I love it, because there is truth in it. Because that hard work on those rough days pays me back tenfold, I just don't get to choose when. I become a better person through the process, I improve, I learn, and I'm able to share this experience with others.

I know that if I work now it will pay off later. That one extra round, that one extra session, that last rep, that's the one that will make me better. That's the one I'll draw on when I need it, and all those last rounds together will add up in the end, in the long haul.  Just don't stop moving forward.

Antifragile Training